Please Don’t Die
We all feel like we want to die sometimes, but hear me out....
Life is a bitch and then you die. That’s an iconic Nas song right there, and it’s etched in my memory for so long that I had to write about it. Seriously, are you really feeling your life right now? Or are we all just trying to make sense of it?
There are times when I wake up feeling like I can conquer the world. Every fiber of my being is like a vitamin commercial; my day feels like the cheesiest reggae song, so positive that I can feel my fucking stomach squirm… I get too spooked out because it’s so perfect.
Then there are those days of pure dread; you can’t point out what’s wrong with you. You feel so left out, like you’re a walking pile of garbage. So bad that I’d look in the mirror, imagine it breaking, and hope a fragment of glass cuts through my neck like a death metal music video. But then, I manage to snap out of it. Why? Because I value my life, as much as I hate my past and dread my future. At least, I can live in the present.
I’m writing this because I just feel like I have to say something. It’s not a bad life, just a bad day, or a bad week, bad month, or maybe even a bad year. Whatever happens, you can snap out of it. I used to joke that even a good plate of food can make the most depressed person rethink his hasty decision. But then, the same for a nice conversation or a song of hope, just hold on to something.
Look forward to anything, no matter how stupid or shallow. If it will get you to postpone that suicide plot and have you stay longer, then it’s all good, right? Better to have something to look forward to than nothing at all.
Don’t kill yourself, ok?